We're back (for now) and So is She...Vacation #3, Another Ellie Update and Oh, my gosh! We're Leaving the Kids Soon! Edition

We drove to the beach on a Thursday almost two weeks ago.  We did all the driving in one day about 11 hours worth.  Mark's parents rented their old beach house, but it wasn't available until Saturday so we went early and stayed in a hotel for two nights to avoid change over day traffic and to milk our vacation for all it's worth because you know, we NEVER  always get to go on vacation.

That very next Friday afternoon while we are hanging out at the condo where Mark's parents were staying I got a call from the county about Ellie.  I knew what it was about because a friend texted me that they were looking for respite care for her so I knew right away that some bad stuff went down.

Before we left Mark and I made sure our social worker knew that if something happened with Ellie's situation while we were gone to please call because we would come get her ASAP.  I didn't really imagine that that would have happened, but it did.   My mom ended up going to our house to receive Ellie from the social worker on Friday afternoon.  She stayed at our house with her until I hopped a flight the next morning to come home and get her.  On Sunday morning my mom dropped us off at the airport and we made our way back to the Outer Banks.  It was CRAZY and exhausting.

From my iPhone...Ellie's first airplane ride.  

Ellie's mom had custody for 23 days which is even 2 weeks longer than it should have been.  Keep in mind that I had her for 10 of those days too. I met with the social worker yesterday to sign the paperwork and to discuss the situation.  Everything is up in the air until a few things are determined, but basically if they terminate Ellie's mom's rights, it won't be until near the end of October.  Even though we got her early in August, the one year clock didn't actually start until the end of October because of court hearings and such.  I really don't see her mom getting her back, but who knows??  Right now there is no visitation which makes our lives incredibly simple.  We just get to hang with Elles and do what we want without having to shuttle her back and forth from her visits.  It's refreshing.

At this point mentally I feel like it's game over.  My enthusiasm for reunification has vanished and I just want to keep her.  We all do.  Despite that, I keep praying that I will hold her with open hands because I trust in God's plan whatever that may be. 4 months will go by quickly, but you just never know what's going to happen on the next episode of Jerry Springer.

It's so natural for her to be with us and so she's taken to this situation like a duck to water. We had a good time with her on vacation minus the fact that she woke up once every night.  Now that we are back home, she's back to sleeping like a baby. She's very happy crawling around our mini Alcatraz (baby gates EVERYWHERE) and pulling up.  She's discovered that draws open, she gives kisses, and says "night-night".  She is a little 11 month old love.  If you knew her, you'd want to keep her too. :)

I think this is the second time I've retrieved photos off my iPhone for my blog, but this one was too funny to pass up.  This is outside our hotel on the first night.  We are headed in for bed, but I couldn't resist snapping one picture.  Never has a picture gone so wrong.  As you can tell by Brooke's face, she's at fault.  In the excitement of the moment, she accidentally wrapped her arms around Luke and Stella so enthusiastically that they knocked heads, Stooge style.  I find it hilarious that I captured the fallout.

Thankfully on this vacation, none of us were attacked by sharks.  See the news story here if you missed that.  I've been to the Outer Banks for the last 20 years and Mark's family even longer, and I don't recall hearing about shark attacks and multiple ones at that!  A dead man washed up on a nearby shore while we were vacationing because he went swimming on a more northern beach at night and got attacked by a shark.  We even saw sting rays swimming around us while we were playing in the ocean!  Mark and the kids saw a giant sea turtle too.  This has NEVER happened.

The new owners of the beach house have made a few minor changes such as this new and improved walkway to the beach.  The old one was rebuilt and then buried in sand from a storm once upon a time and so this is the third edition.

It was so handy!

Mark's family likes to eat out on vacation, but in recent years (like a decade) we've eaten in.  Eating out with kids at nice restaurants (read loooong dinners) is just painful.  We don't eat out of the gluten filled bread basket and Mark and I don't drink (which would be one of the few things that would make long dinners with small children bearable) so this type of outing was just not on the agenda.  This year we fared much better now that the kids are getting older so we went out to dinner 3 times.  One of the places is pictured above.  It's called Stripers,.. not to be confused with pole dancing strippers.  :) It's on the Albemarle Sound in Manteo, a nearby island.  As you can see from the pictures it was beautiful.

It took a while for the food to come (surprise!) so we walked around on the dock to pass the time.

The water in the Outer Banks was freezing mostly.  I'm talking in the 60's cold.  The air temperature also hit the mid 90's a couple of days which in my book made the beach miserable.  Who invited the party pooper? Ellie on the other hand, doesn't poo-poo much, certainly not the sand.

The big cousins (Mark's sister's family) went on a different adventure out West so it was kind of quite compared to the usual chaos of 17 people staying in one house.  We missed them a lot.

This day I didn't have my zoom lens which bummed me out because Nash looked hilarious sitting on the boogie board with his googles and life jacket on.  I wish I could have gotten that close up.

One morning it was rainy and overcast so we went bowling.  Mark's so glad I took pictures and held Ellie because he would have been beaten by EVERY member of our family then.

Read 'em and weep.  Mark was dead last.  For the record I spanked him last year.  I guess we can't all be winners, right honey? 

Brooke got a strike and Stella started cheering. It was so cute!

Oh, happy day!

One other change made to the house was the removal of the downstairs couch and the addition of a pool table.  The kids enjoyed playing so the couch wasn't missed all that much.

I bought Stella this cute bathing suit on sale at Lands End.  It was adorable on her. Brooke also got a sassy skirted suit, but I didn't get a picture of it.

Luke's at an intense part of his Hardy Boys book.  He's hooked on the series.

I'm kind of over the back breaking bathtub now that Ellie can sit up steadily.  She's so small that she fit in the sink in our bathroom.

It was a good time at the beach, but I was so glad to get home to our own beds and to sleep though the night again.  If it wasn't Ellie crying in the night it was one of the other kids with ear pain (water, no infection) or leg cramps.  We drove straight through on the way back with Ellie and the drive went very smoothly.  She took longer naps and everyone else was an angel too.

It's been busy since we've been back home because Mark and I are leaving soon.  I should be packing now, but I'm procrastinating.  I also had to run lots of errands to get clothes and supplies for Ellie.  I gave most of the clothes to Ellie's mom and so she didn't have enough left to last the summer.

 Because we didn't have enough going on, we worked on a charity project for the food pantry at our old church. We usually donate food, but I wanted to have a hands on project for the kids.  We made lunch bags that just need a sandwich per the request of the director.  It was a fun project.  We decorated the outside and then stuffed 40 bags with a drink, a fruit pouch, and a granola bar.

That same afternoon, my mom came to stay with the kids and I went to take family photos of my niece's fiance's family an hour and a half away in New Bremen, OH.  Sounds like I need a vacation doesn't it?  :) I think so too.

 The future in-laws are great!  I loved meeting them and their small town. We took photos at their family farm and the lake. This barn had so much character that I wish it were closer to home.

 The future brother and sister in law are expecting.  Her baby bump was delicious and so is this minty maternity dress.

 Pinterest inspired.  :)

 There's a lake in this one horse town called St. Mary's and there are 4 Catholic churches in the area.  Gotta love that!  I was told that there is a lot of drinking for these Catholics living in the sticks.

 The weather was perfect.  Ironically, it has rained buckets here and there everyday for the last week or so, but this day was sunny, dry and about 75 degrees.  I didn't sweat at all which is unusual for a photo shoot at the end of June.

I can't wait for these two to be married.  Our kids are going to be in the wedding which they are thrilled about.  I just want this wedding to be behind us so we can get to the business of babies. Ha!

Here are some things that are on my mind and in my heart...

I'm praying...for my friend that is about to have her 6th baby any day now.  If baby doesn't come out spontaneously, they will induce her on Thursday.  They haven't found out the gender and there is no name yet so I'm waiting with bated breath and so worried it's going to come when I'm out of the country. :)

I don't do want to forget...putting soap in Nash's mouth for repeatedly saying the word "fart" after he's been continually instructed not to.  At Saturday evening Mass while I'm kneeling down praying before Mass started, Nash leans in and whispers "fart, fart, fart, fart" in a sing song voice.  It would be funnier if he had a filter at times.  Since he does not, I had to get serious about this farting problem.  Lol.

Around the house...it looks like a maximum security prison with all the baby gates.  We have a total of 5 on the first floor if that tells you anything.  We can't have Ellie grabbing cords in the office, falling down the steps or emptying the school room shelves.

I also threw together this gallery wall after perusing Pinterest and a trip to Hobby Lobby for one frame.  That's a map of Dollywood on the right.  Some people in our family may have a collection of amusement park maps. I'm just sayin'...

 From my iPhone

 Crazy kids climbing the tree in our front yard.

I am thinking...about our priest, Fr. Ron leaving our parish today.  He celebrated his last Mass at St. Philip the Apostle Church.  This morning before Mass Brooke went to work making this sign that says, "Good bye Fr. Ron".  He will be missed greatly.  The random kid that photo bombed us is our friend Michael.  :)

I am pondering...gay "marriage" and contraception.  There are many Christians out there that oppose gay "marriage", but openly support/endorse/use contraception or have sterilized themselves.  I read all of the dissenting Supreme Court Justices' opinions.  I know that probably sounds dull, but it was fascinating.  Justice Alito's remarks stuck with me...

"This understanding of marriage, which focuses almost entirely on the happiness of persons who choose to marry, is shared by many people today, but it is not the traditional one.  For millenia, marriage was inextricably linked to the one thing that only an opposite-sex couple can do: procreate."

"If this traditional understanding of the purpose of marriage does not ring true to all ears today, that is probably because the tie between marriage and procreation has frayed."

The Catholic Church has always taught that marriage and procreation are intrinsically linked.  The Church reaffirmed this teaching and formally reiterated this teaching in the encyclical titled "Humanae Vitae" which is Latin for "of human life".  It was written by Pope Paul VI and was issued on July 25, 1968 when the issue of contraception was raging. Much to the indignation of the population at large, the winds of change did not prevail.  This encyclical reminds us of God's loving plan for marriage and family.  It's the gold standard.  It re-affirms the teaching of the Church regarding married love, responsible parenthood, and the rejection of contraception.  It does however affirm the use of the natural fertility cycle to space births.  It warns that the use of contraceptives/sterilization will lower the moral law (same sex marriage, anyone?), allow for women to be treated as objects, and greater instances of infidelity just to name a few.

So many people mock or are outraged with the Catholic Church because it won't just get with the times, but Holy Matrimony was ordained by God and entrusted to the Apostles to hand on to the world.  Changes to the precepts of married love would be as silly as changing the 10 Commandments to suit the every shifting social "norms".

Once you take procreation out of Marriage, then why can't two people of the same sex form a non-procreative relationship just like the majority of our society?   You can't have your cake (Sexual pleasure without creating life) and eat it too (The historical definition of marriage between one man and one woman).  The lines get blurred and then you get a Chobani commercial on The Family Channel with two "married" lesbians appearing to be naked in bed enjoying each other and Greek yogurt.

And for the record, the government recognizing same sex "marriage" does not bestow dignity to people or couples, God gave us dignity when we were created in His image.

A few upcoming plans...we are entrusting our children to the care of my endowed-with- superhero-powers mother and my niece and we are leaving on a jet plane in 33 hours and I don't have one thing in a suitcase!!  So yes, let's post on this blog and pull an all nighter tomorrow night or maybe tonight too?  (When my mother gets wind of this I'm going to be grounded.) :)

While we are on our Mediterranean cruise we will be making a pilgrimage to Our Blessed Mother's house in Ephesus, Turkey.  It's where she lived with the Apostle St. John after Jesus' resurrection and it is here she is believed to have been assumed body and soul into heaven.

 I might need to breath into a paper bag as I'm leaving the kids behind for 10 days, but I think once I glimpse the continent of Europe for the first time, I'll be okay. Thankfully, Ellie does not have to go to respite care because my mom is going to stay all 10 days to babysit.   Prayers for safe travels and for our nannies would be appreciated. I'll be praying for you too.  See you back here soon!

An Ellie Update and the First Half of June

It's a funny thing trying to process drama.  The need to hash it out and talk it over is almost as life sucking as actually living whatever craziness is happening.  A friend just emailed me asking how life without Ellie is going.  I responded that I wouldn't know.  Not even two weeks after the DIY reunification took place, the unstable situation Ellie was going back to fell apart.  I'm not able to say exactly what that is, but just know that it left Ellie's mom swimming in chaos and uncertainty.  You may be inclined to shake your head and yell, "What was that judge thinking??!!".  I did that last week and now I've moved on.  The situation was fragile from the outset and the sense of stability was one variable from total collapse and that's where things stand today.

As a favor to Ellie's mom, I've kept Ellie 9 days out  of the last week and a half while her mom tries to regroup.  It's a very sad situation, but none the less she still gets to keep her because she was granted custody. She's doing her best and only time will tell if she has what it takes to put the pieces back together.  There are no do overs, it is what it is.

We have enjoyed spending time with Ellie and we love her so.  It's funny because when I had her originally I always felt like I was keeping her from her parents, but now I feel much more at ease when I have her because I'm doing her mom a favor.  It's weird, especially given the situation!!

Ellie's a crawling, table food eating, pulling up in the crib kind of baby.  She's 10.5 months now so it's about time she spreads her wings a little more.  I've begun teaching her baby signs and she is catching on so quickly!  She knows "all finished" and "more".  She really is a very smart kiddo.

We are about to launch another family vacation to the Outer Banks of NC with Mark's family.  I know!  We are so blessed and very spoiled.  Shortly after that Mark and I are headed to the Mediterranean!!  It's going to be a crazy time, but I am looking forward to a drama and Ellie free vacation. Things have been stressful at times to say the least.

I ran into this quote in my daily reading this week that says, "All the pain God allows, whether it be of body or of mind, serves to purify the soul so that it may yield more fruit.  It is of the mystery of suffering that we have to see it always as a grace from Heaven." (In Conversation with God Vol. 3, page 598) So I guess if you're also feeling stressed and suffering a bit (or a lot!) take heart that this is an opportunity to grow in holiness, to be detached from our plans and to cling to God.  Don't worry, He's got this.  :)

With that said,  I still long to be "normal" for a while, until we get sucked into another kind of craziness with another foster baby.  At least now I am going into this with my eyes wide open and I've got these battle scars to show that I can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'.  Get behind me Satan!! We would appreciate your prayers for Ellie and her situation and may God bless you for your charity.
We were still going strong on the school work up until the 3rd and then we ended with a thud.  Mark asked if we were finished with school and I shrugged and said, "I guess."  They went camping, we went canoeing one day, and there has been a lot of packing and unpacking going on since so school is on hiatus until the beginning of August.  I don't mind doing school at all so it's not a big deal to do it, it's just we have too many other things going on. Such is life!

There will be an onslaught of vacation photos next month so check back at the end of July when I finish unpacking from our "adults only" cruise and get back into the groove of bossing the kids around.  I imagine just because I'll be away for 10 days, bossing will come back as naturally as riding a bike.

 Here's what we've been up to since last time...

 Hanging out with our friends, the H Family.  They have 5 kids and number 6 is due in the next two weeks!  It's so much fun to play at their house because there is plenty of space for the kids to roam and so many cool things to do...like this kiddie pool that held 8 kids.

 They have a go-cart that they share too.  Mr. H works from home and is so generous to use his break to man the go-cart fun.

Mrs. H and the soon to be big sister, G. Love those curls!

Our subdivision had a garage sale and since we sold so much last year, this time we just enjoyed the shopping.  Got that clock for $2! and...



This stature of the Holy Family for $3.  Brooke also got an almost brand new bike for $20 down from the $30 they were asking.  My kids know how to negotiate and no one can resist a well spoken, polite kid that makes an offer less than what they were asking.  The other kids found many treasures as well.

 Ellie's in the house!!!


The day after I picked up Ellie, Mark, Brooke, Luke and another dad and son headed to PA for FNE summer camp.  Five days of camping in the Pocono Mountains.

There were groups from all over the United States as well as from Toronto.



Mark compared their experience to an outdoor retreat.






The priest that celebrated Mass was of the Byzantine Rite so the liturgy was a bit different.  Brooke and Luke came home bubbling with new information which was really fun.

 While the big kids were away, Stella, Nash, Ellie, and I picked up my mom for a field trip to Parky's Farm.  I thought with Brooke and Luke gone that Stella and Nash would bond together and appreciate being the top dogs in the house, but this wasn't the case at all.  They were lost without the leaders and most of the 5 days they spent fighting.  I thought I would lose my mind!!

 After Parky's Farm we drove to the park's nearby wet playground.  It was a hit!

 After Mass that Sunday, I drove the kids to the lake.  We were going to spend the night, but I ended up heading back after dinner so I could talk to the social worker regarding Ellie and her parents early in the morning.

 Ellie went on her first boat ride and fell asleep right at the beginning.  She's so easy going, she didn't complain about the life jacket and she loved it when I dipped her legs in the lake.  The lake is a fine temperature for kids, but not for babies or old people.  I'm grouping myself with the old people because I'm about to turn 37 in two weeks!  Yikes.

Two days after they got back from camping, we went on a little canoeing expedition.  I have a very short summer bucket list and this was on it.  We have so many travels planned that I was worried we wouldn't fit it in or that if we waited, we'd get another baby which would make canoeing very tricky.  We did not take Ellie if you were wondering.  :)

I knew the kids would love it and they did.  The Little Miami River is a low thrill, shallow river which is perfect for smaller kids.  We opted for the shortest 3 mile trek because Mark did the 6 with the scouts and said it was a bit too long.

We had a girls canoe and a boys.  I somehow gave Brooke the impression we were racing so she got very competitive at the end and cranky because I wasn't cooperating with her plans. Brooke and Luke were good paddlers and I think their experience with the kayaks at the lake helped tremendously. 

We stopped here and there to get out to swim and explore.

It was hot and the water, although cool, was very refreshing.

 We ended our trip at the campground where we got some icy treats from the snack bar while we waited for the bus to come take us back to our car.

 Once back at the starting point, we had a picnic lunch that turned into...

 a wrestling match!  This experience was a blast and the kids all wanted to know when we were going again.  Maybe after the beach and after your parents go on a Mediterranean cruise and then your dad goes to to work for two weeks straight to make up for the fact that he had the first 15 days of July off so we can pay our bills and for our vacations or after we go camping in August.  It might have to wait until next summer guys.  :)

 Nash "bought" a "swippy swide" at Target this past Saturday.  The kids all had allowance money and I couldn't resist his cuteness so I splurged for an $8 Slippin' Slide that  broke after 10 minutes of use.  I boxed that bad boy back up and I plan on returning it for a new one.

 We already have a crazy kid pool, but the patrons were too wild for Ellie so I made a baby pool out of a storage container.  Ellie lasted about 10 minutes and then it was nap time.

Not so much for these monkeys!  I keep waiting for them to say that the kiddie pool is not fun, but so far they're still having a blast.

I took Ellie back on Monday and I'm so glad for the break.  I need a little space from this new development her parents are going through and I think that I'm going to really appreciate our upcoming vacations so my body and my mind can rest.

It's going to be a hectic time when we return from the beach because I'm going to have to unpack, do the laundry and pack again for our cruise.  Not to mention shore things up on the home front to prepare for the absence of both Mark and I.  I'm a little uneasy about leaving the kids for so long, but I'm sure they'll be in good hands with my mom and niece.  When we touch down in Italy I'm sure my worries will fade into the azure blue waters of the Mediterranean. :)  See you back here for vacation photos extravaganza! God bless!